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A newspaper ran a contest asking it’s readers to write two lines.The first line should be most romantic but the second line should be the least romantic.Here are a few replies they got.

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My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe “go to hell ”

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

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Oh loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face
(more…)

Virginity is like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who runs in front of car get tyred.

Man who runs behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man gives wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch a5s should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties are not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fights with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midgets.

A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line… But the least romantic second line.

Here are some of the entries they received.
———————————————————————

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe “go to hell ”

———————————————————————

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

———————————————————————
Oh loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face
(more…)

Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to
Itch.

Ruby’s Principle of Close Encounters :
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Anthony’s Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to (more…)

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Work is fine if (more…)