Fun, Facts, Masti and Latest Updates

Customer: “How fast will my COM ports go?”
Tech Support: “How hard can you throw your computer?” ___________________________________________________
Customer: “Hello, I have a problem. My name is John Smith.”
Tech Support: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with that problem.”
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Customer: “When I touch the sound card board at the back of my PC, I can feel electric current.”
Tech Support: “Then don’t touch it.”
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Customer: “What’s the fastest way to move 500 megabytes of data daily from Santa Cruz to Los Angeles?”
Tech Support: “Fed Ex.”
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Customer: “I can’t get loaded!”
Tech Support: “Try stronger drinks.”
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Customer: “Can I ask you a really stupid question?”
Tech Support: “Yes. And history will bear me out on that.”
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Student: “How do I make a paper longer?”
Consultant: “You write more.”

Equation 1

In other words,
Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work
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Equation 2

In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys
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In other words,
Women that don’t spend = Donkeys
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To Conclude:

Therefore…from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude  Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together! 

These are some profile bio’s from a popular Matrimonial site… Grammar and spell errors have
no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

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Hello To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don’t have female,
If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my home. I am not a good
education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome
to my heart…when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u
letter.. Thanks yours Regards Shekhar ~*~
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i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state
she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Homework?)

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Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she
may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the
entire life can run smoothly. thank you

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
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she should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have
one brother and one sister. she should be educated.

(ain’t it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I
love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I
am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love
myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ……..hold
my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i am simple boy.I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now
i am looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)
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My wife should be as ‘Shivani’ as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr
as in KSBKBT……

(Ok I haven’t seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too
much,ain’t he?)

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i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house
but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast

(by not wearing her jeans? Wat the hell…)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL
MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY
MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD
NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing{laughing})

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whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone
bride and she must think of the future life if she is too like this she
would be called the woman of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this boy wants)
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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love
thepatner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is
suffering from “Ok-syndrome”)

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HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR
AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK

(the “ok syndrome” again)

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I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and Father&mother
sister complity marred

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
‘completely’?)
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iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent.
i
am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at
kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

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my name is muhamad and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes
pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! J )
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Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she
havea frank she’s skin colour ‘normal’not a black or not a whitey.
IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are
beautiful.
but
iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a
good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
bye bye.

(uttama purushan)
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iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)
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I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON’T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

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hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i
divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good’. i expect the good
minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other caste
accepted …

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

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my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service

(Zebra..???)

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i’m looking out for who lives in bombay , girl simple who trust me lot
should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn’t it?)

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to be married on jan-2009. working woman perferable

(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a
bride.
I wish him best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get
one
soon.)

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i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure.
because girl is the maharani.

(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

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ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not
paying salary at present.

(Any takers again?)

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer…..

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, “Mrs.Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve know you since you were a young boy,and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. ”

The Lawyer was stunned.

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,

“Mrs. Jones. do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said,

“If either of you ba5tards asks her if she knows me, I’ll throw you in jail for contempt.”

A fellow went for a check up to his family physician. After a thorough examination, the doctor gave the man the bad news — “I’m sorry, but you only have 6 months to live.” Obviously the man was shocked. He replied, “Please Doc, give me some advice!” “Well,” the doctor said, “here is what I would do. First off, I would move to Arkansas. Then I would buy a hog farm. Finally, I would marry a 350 lb. woman.” Looking perplexed, the man replied “my God, doc, how in the world will that help?” The doctor answered, “Well, I don’t know how much it will help your illness, but it will be the longest 6 months of your life!”