A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What’s the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to re place it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but thereis an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.
Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you! the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE
March 26th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Customer support is one of the most depressing jobs in my opinion, you are pretty much getting paid to come to the sad realization about how pitiful the general public is. I am not unfortunate enough to have to work through tech support, but being a Barista, I have seen some pretty….sad…things.
March 26th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I’m sure Taped the Barista has seen sad things. Like sad yuppie hacks that visit Starbucks like it’s a religion. What the hell is wrong with a regular cup of coffee with cream and sugar? Anyway…
I’ll never work customer service, I would laugh too easily at dumbasses. Funny story.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Hahaha
March 26th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
haha, that’s brilliant, if true it’s funny that you were both in on the joke !
March 26th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Taped, I work in tech support for a small local ISP, and you’re right. For the past two years I’ve been getting paid to gain an understanding and insight into the stupidity of man.
Not knowing anything about your computer is one thing. I can understand that, mostly. But arguing with the guy who you call for help about something you clearly know nothing about is what makes you stupid.
Regardless, this story’s gotta be false. The odds of the guy calling the same M$ tech three times in a row at a call center are incredibly low.
March 26th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Well done to the Microsoft guy, very quick on the uptake. I take my hat off to him.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
I thank God on a daily basis for the gift of the computer illiterate. I don’t do phone support, I see the PC personally. So maybe I have less frustration. Simple fact, I get paid good money doing a job I love. It’s not physically demanding, but occasionally has brain buster problems to keep it interesting. If it weren’t for the computer illiterate, I’d have to work harder for my pay.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
haha. I like how the Microsoft guy caught on. Anything that has to do with Customer Service is incredibly frustrating. People are crazy and it doesn’t matter how much experience you have at your job they always think they know better.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I don’t even want to imagine what kind of things tech support must have to deal with on a daily basis. I have one of my own to share, although I really don’t know if the fault lies with my uncle or the tech support.
My Uncle recently purchased a new HP desktop. When it arrived at his house, it would not power up at all. I have a basic knowledge of computers (I am studying programming) so I offered to take a look.
He said no, because he had already called the company, and they were sending him a disk that would fix the problem…
Some people really should not be allowed near anything computer related.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
I agree with Taped, I don’t envy that position. People don’t tell you half the time what they actually did. The other half of the time they know more than the technician. Regardless it’s your fault. Kinda humorous.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Yep, I was a CSR for a small telecom for a while. The pay (good for a college freshman) was not nearly enough to redeem dealing with the most stupid, most greedy people to use a phone.
To make it worse the telecom wasn’t exactly an “honest” business, so we had to balance satisfying people’s greed with satisfying the boss’…
March 27th, 2008 at 2:09 am
Well, I worked customer support until I just couldn’t take it any more, about 2.5 years. The worst were people calling from USA. How is it possible to have that many stupid people all in one place at one time? To make matters worse, they all think they know everything. It’s little wonder they elect scum like Bush and Cheney.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
NICE ARTICLE. THANKS FOR SHARING. THOROUGHLY ENJOYED READING. GOOD LUCK
Thumbs Up to you 
March 28th, 2008 at 6:43 am
I worked as a phone tech for a small ISP in my hometown. The ones who really made me laugh were the people who would call in with some problem that they caused by messing around with settings they didn’t understand and then want some money back on their monthly bill for the time they weren’t able to use their internet.
March 28th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Tech support isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be. Yes, people can be a dense, and downright dumb at times. But remember, we work with computers for a living, they don’t. Your job is much more fulfilling when you think of all the different people from different backgrounds that you help, it’s a much more satisfying experience.
March 28th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Chrissy,
Millions of people do go into coffeeshops–Starbucks and otherwise–just for a regular cup of coffee, with or without the cream and sugar. Any customer service position puts us into contact with great customers and customers who are just plain mean and customers who make us want to cry in sympathy for what they are going through. There are rewards to the profession.
Tech support and phone customer support, on the other hand, have most of their rewards in being able to tell stories about the worst of it later.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:11 pm
I used to work in customer service at an insurance company. Some of the calls I handled were for disability (as in partial income replacement for someone medically unable to work) claims. Frequently people would get mad when I would tell them we could not process their claim because their doctor has not returned the form (which gives the proof that they are out of work for a medical reason). Their comment would be, “but I paid my premium!” They couldn’t get the concept that insurance requires proof to pay on claims. All the information we need is detailed in the paperwork they got when they signed up. Talk about stupid people. And the bitchiest ones usually had incomes so high that their 60% of regular income disability check was going to be twice my regular weekly paycheck.
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:53 am
it guy ftw.
after running drive-thru at dairy queen for a year, i decided that i can’t tolerate people and will never work in the service industry again.
April 6th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Microsoft stinks.
April 8th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
im working as a tech support for almost 2 yrs now [almost 1 year of talking calls] and indeed its really frustrating at times having to deal with know-it-all custs to hell-i-care-with-you-i-want-to-talk to somebody-else cust…
good thing im not talking the calls now.. heheh
what’s rewarding is being appreciated for a job well done.. that’s it.. the pay sucks.. LOL! dont as where i work..
April 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Why is your punctuation hrefs to your own site? Think that’ll boost your pagerank? Laame!
Also, I use AdBlock plugin, so you didn’t get any money from me! And I gave your site a thumbs down in StumbleUpon! Ha ha! The Internets are mine!!!1
April 9th, 2008 at 9:47 am
@ 1:
lol, yeh sure you’re a ‘barista’ - how do you spell that again?
April 10th, 2008 at 2:11 am
Hey Mike….
Thts good to hear from you.. U know what even i use those plugins but… the only thing i dont do is… thumbs-down any site …. coz it affects ur karma…
April 27th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Feh, you all feel sorry for tech support, but how about having an f***ing stupid tech support guy on the other end of the phone? Take for example one of my latest pleasant exchanges with tech support. My sound card is not detected by the computer, but the tech guy seems to think it is something to do with the drivers. He’s already been insisting this for about half an hour before we get to the drivers and devices screen.
Indian Guy - “Can you see a yellow question mark next to the sound card?”
Me - “No, the sound card is not detected.”
IG - “But can you see a yellow question mark”
Me - “It doesn’t detect the sound card. It can’t have a yellow question mark next to it.”
IG - “Is there a yellow question mark next to the sound card?”
Me - “NO, there’s no f***ing sound card detected, SO IT CAN’T SAY THAT THERE ARE NO DRIVERS!”
IG - “Sir, can I ask if there is a yellow question mark…”
Me - “NO THERE IS NO BL**DY QUESTION MARK.”
IG - “And you can’t see the sound card?”
Me - “No.”
IG - “Sir, I would like to inform you that there may be a loose connection between your sound card and the motherboard.”
Me - “THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU FOR THE LAST HOUR.”
April 27th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Oh and then he tells me to open up the computer to check to see if my sound card is loose, and so void my 3 year warranty. This is, btw, the hotline for people who have an extended warranty. There is absolutely no excuse for this criminal level of support.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
There are 3 types of people in this world:
1. Those that know and know they know
2. Those that don’t know and know they don’t know
3. Those that don’t know and don’t know they don’t know.
Guess which kind of person causes people to quit customer service gigs…